My friend and I have a withstanding appointment most mornings to text back and forth and send each other voice notes. While we connect about our lives in general, much of our conversation focuses on our love lives or lack thereof. We giggle at each other’s stories. We share sound advice. We encourage each other to remain hopeful.
Sometimes the fire of hope seems to be on a slow burnout. Between the two of us, we’ve seen similarities in the reasons why connections are not made or when they are made, they quickly fizzle out. Here are 10 sound reasons why modern dating makes it difficult to connect with someone meaningful.
1. Emotional Baggage is Real
Date long enough and at some point, you will likely be able to say that you have been hurt or burnt. No one goes out looking for this, but it happens to the best of us. What can I tell you? People can be immature. Non-communicative. And oftentimes, they don’t even know what they want. Too bad they don’t realize this before they get involved with someone else. After you’ve had a bad experience or two, many of us are hesitant to get back in the dating saddle. We become guarded and difficult to get to know. Sometimes uncompromising. Emotional baggage is a real barrier to making an authentic and deep connection to someone else.
2. Have it Your Way a.k.a The Hookup
I experience this one a lot. Before the date is done, many men want to shove their tongue down your throat. Grab your breasts. Get a nightcap back at their place. That’s if they even propose a proper date to begin with. Not interested? No problem. There are tons of people who are. They can hop on an app. Or call someone from their past. Or meet someone else that same night who is willing and able to go home with them and fuck their brains out.
If you move slower or like to take your time to get to know someone before getting sexually involved, this mentality is the antithesis of a pervasive hookup culture.