Are You the Black Cat or the Golden Retriever in Your Relationship?

Jacqueline Atulip
3 min readJul 23, 2024
Photo by Abdu Rahman on Unsplash

One of the most pervasive dating dynamics is the concept of women being chased and pursued by men. Enter the popular “black cat and golden retriever energy” dating theory. Using the personalities of these two animals as a metaphor for energy and behavior we can draw a parallel to the kind of dynamic that typically works in a couple.

What is the essence of a black cat?

Black cats are often associated with mystery, independence, and a hint of enigma. They move gracefully, exude an air of aloofness, and are known for their selective affection. When translated to human personality traits, people who embody “black cat energy” are typically introverted, introspective, and self-sufficient.

They cherish their alone time and are highly attuned to their inner world. Their charm lies in their quiet confidence and the allure of their enigmatic nature. To be crystal clear, the person with the black cat energy, typically the woman, is the one that gets pursued.

What is the essence of a golden retriever?

In contrast, golden retrievers are synonymous with warmth, loyalty, and exuberant friendliness. They are always eager to please. In relationships, the golden retriever is the one doing the…

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Jacqueline Atulip

I write about love, dating, sex, and relationships. Helping you to manifest your best love life. Follow me: @jacquelineatulip | www.jacquelineatulip.com