Ask Jacqueline: When Gift Giving Goes Left

Greetings Jacqueline!

My seventeen year old grandson is dating a lovely young woman and she recently had a birthday. For a birthday gift, he bought her a Victoria’s Secret bra. She interpreted this as him wanting *much more* out of the relationship and she promptly slapped his face and stormed off. I gotta say, I love the gal’s chutzpah since there was certainly no ambiguity in her reaction

Any ideas on how he might navigate this precarious situation? Not sure if it’s relevant or not, but she is a bit buxom. His Mom and I are trying to come up with some guidance for him.

Dear Concerned Grandmother,

Thank you for reaching out with such a delicate and important question. It’s wonderful to see that you and his mom are actively involved in guiding him through this situation. Here are some steps and advice that might help your grandson navigate this precarious situation:

1. Understanding the Misstep — First, it’s important for your grandson to understand why his gift was interpreted the way it was. A Victoria’s Secret bra, while it might seem like a thoughtful or intimate gift, can be seen as too personal and suggestive, especially in a young relationship. This can make the recipient feel uncomfortable or pressured as your grandson’s girlfriend expressed.