Backfooting: A Narcissist’s Manipulation Tactic To Keep You In Check
To my dismay, divorcing my husband has been a long and painful journey. One that is difficult to heal from because we are co-parenting our son and have to interact with each other on a fairly regular basis. It remains a challenge for me to maintain my boundaries while limiting the amount of narcissistic abuse I am subjected to.
Narcissists are very selective about the image that they present to the world. It’s carefully curated to support their fragile self-concept. To uphold this image and maintain their manufactured world, narcissists have to keep their victims doubting themselves and their realities. One of the many tactics they use to manipulate you is “backfooting”.
What is backfooting?
Backfooting is a manipulative tactic where a narcissist deliberately puts someone on the defensive, causing them to question their perceptions or actions. Backfoot is derived from the game of boxing, where being on the back foot means being in a defensive position. In relationships, this tactic keeps the narcissist in control and the other person perpetually off-balance trying to navigate how to maintain the peace.
For example, a woman might accuse a man of cheating, prompting him to prove that he isn’t. Or, a man might accuse a woman of being a…
