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Black Women & Hypergamy: How to Demand More From a Relationship

Jacqueline Atulip
4 min readSep 25, 2020

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Photo by Esther Tuttle on Unsplash

Up until 2 years before the end of my marriage, I had unwillingly, but consistently out-earned my husband. My husband intermittently earned a salary and there were brief spurts where he out-earned me. However, it was my job that provided our stability, our ability to buy our home, cover the medical costs when we were confronted with infertility. It was my consistent income that provided the opportunity to purchase a car shortly after it became blatantly obvious we needed it with our newborn. All of our bills were in my name. Even, the mortgage. His credit would have weakened the application.

While I’ve always been an independent woman, I was bred to work hard and go after what I want. This division of responsibilities was not what I signed up for when it came to marriage. I didn’t want to carry my husband, but before I knew what happened, that’s exactly what was doing. I sacrificed my happiness and worked a job that I disdained because his priority was chasing his happiness and after all, he had me for provision.

Post-separation found me living almost below the poverty line. By contrast, my husband was making 6 figures and refused to give me support until our situation was worked out. In the marriage, I justified my sacrifice. I believed like so many people do that giving my husband what he wanted, would…

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Jacqueline Atulip
Jacqueline Atulip

Written by Jacqueline Atulip

I write about love, dating, sex, and relationships. Helping you to manifest your best love life. Follow me: @jacquelineatulip | www.jacquelineatulip.com

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