Why Do You Feel Bad For Wanting What You Want?

Jacqueline Atulip
4 min readMay 29, 2024

As a relationship/dating writer, I am always keeping a pulse on what is going on in the dating market. I speak to people constantly about their experiences and I consult both men and women about their opinions on relevant topics and scenarios. Who pays on a date remains a consistent topic.

Recently, a psychologist was sharing on a podcast about the dating experience of one of her female clients. The client went on a coffee date with a man whom she was really into. The date was going well but when the bill came, the man asked her to pay for her coffee, even though he was the one who initially asked her out on a date. She paid for her coffee but shared with her therapist her confusion over why this man who seemingly liked her, would ask her to pay for her coffee on the date he asked her out to. She was even more confused when the man asked her out on another date. She didn’t go and blocked him shortly thereafter.

I asked 3 of my female colleagues what they would have done and their opinions on the scenario.

The first one self-identified as “very liberal” and said she would not have a problem with covering her coffee. She would only want to know that the man was employed and wasn’t asking her to pay because he couldn’t afford it.

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Jacqueline Atulip

I write about love, dating, sex, and relationships. Helping you to manifest your best love life. Follow me: @jacquelineatulip | www.jacquelineatulip.com